This is one of such thoughts that never come to my mind, I choose not to think of it, it does not even bother me anymore because it is the past. I hear stories that relate to what you dealt with in life but for the peace of God, I do not cringe or even nurse the emotions that come with it. I woke up today feeling all blue, knowing that if you were here, life would have been so much better. Why is it today that I am letting this get me? I fear that I am not all I need to be because I just have a mother who juggles between the two occupations of dad and mum.Why didn't you stay? God gave us authority over snakes and scorpions, and to overcome all the powers of the enemy, you taught me all this but you did not demonstrate it.
Six years ago, Long....painful....stressful....emotional....discouraging six years ago, four days after my birthday, I did not get a birthday call because you were recieveing chemo by that time but instead I got a call to say it was all over, earth couldn't just handle you anymore, you opressed everyone didn't you? you lost your battle with brain cancer. How could you? You forgot how to walk, it killed me inside to see my own father learning to walk again like a toddler but I had to maintain composure and be strong for you. You forgot how to talk, I could not longer have conversations to full lenght with you without you saying something that had no meaning whatsoever. I had to walk behind you when you wanted to go upstairs just to ensure you did not fall back as you were not balanced in your brain activity. You did not know how to feed yourself, your brain could not cordinate your hand to hold a fork up to your mouth, but you insisted on feeding yourself because you were a fighter. There were days when you would look at me but your eyes were crossed, tears will flood my eyes but i would hold back.You were absent on my primary school graduation, Your presence was not there at my High school graduation, now at University, it would be mum and everyone else but who will I jump on and scream 'DADDY, I MADE IT!' to?......sigh**, Who would walk me down the aisle and give my hand to him who deserves your treasure? I remeber when I would hold your hands while I lay on your bed with you, It made me peaceful. The doctors said you would not live more than 3 months after being diagnosed with cancer, shame on them, You made it to three years because you're a 'G' like that. I love you SO much, i know mummy misses you more but she is strong, you taught all of us lessons that will never go away.
We love you and miss you. I am trying to be who you would want me to be. It's really a hard journey but I am strong, You taught me not to give up and so fight I must!. You are in my heart, today, tomorrow and forever, No one will ever play 'daddy' more than you did. My heart goes out to you. Peace!
~The reason why honey is so easy to digest is because it has already been digested by a bee.
Musings of mine: Rambling Mind on This and That #12 - *Quote of the day: * *Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. -Anthony Burgess* *Train Runners* What's one of the funniest ...
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