Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Behind the laughter...

It is yet that time of the year again, the ‘National Love Awareness Day’. It is the time when all the stores have their versions of ‘The Perfect Valentine Dress’ and what not. That time when Wal-Mart aisles and such are crowded with heart-shaped chocolate boxes and cards, like the color red is going out of fashion. It is that time of the year were girls smile ever widely to the supposed boyfriends in anticipation of waking up to an anonymously sent bouquet of red roses. I have no complaints whatsoever, but in the midst of all the love rubbles and merriment, I just have one somewhat rhetorical question. Who will love mummy this year?

In the midst of my ridiculous randomness, the question just popped up in my mind and I do not know why. As years go by, I get better understanding of what it means to lose a loved one. Last year or two years ago if you asked me, I would confidently tell you she is okay just the way she and she is a sea of pure laughter. I actually find that statement rather stupid now because yes, she may be all of that but through it all, she is human and she actually has feelings buried deep down in her ‘toughness’. Daddy was almost perfect I tell you, and I do not say this because he was mine but because truth never hides for too long. This man had a busy life that the average parent would not have time for the family because he/she is fending for them but my daddy stayed home with us and cancelled any appointments he had for that day. It was a tradition that every Saturday morning we would go to Sheraton hotel for that wonderful breakfast buffet. He was a helplessly spontaneous romantic. We may be sitting together watching a movie but an idea such as dinner at the most expensive restaurant at the time would pop up and we all went. My mother was and is still not the ‘let’s go out to eat today’ woman, she is more of the ‘bring back a to-go box please’ kind of person. Daddy would drag her if it came to that just so we could be together.

The funny times I can actually remember him dancing to no rhythm whatsoever for mummy and making her laugh widely, you would think life was a circus. He would send a bouquet of flowers to her on random days just-because. On her birthdays, he would make sure my sister and I stood on stage and sing the birthday song to the whole congregation one at a time for 3 services, just to show affection. Yes, I am a PK, deal with it. :p It never really dawned on me that she would sit and think about these things once in a while. He used to call her ‘mata na’ which is hausa for ‘my wife’ and she would respond ‘miji na’-‘my husband’. Today who would call her ‘their wife’?

I am trying to think of something nice to do for her just to maybe give a token back?! I am trying to come up with suggestions. I love this woman with every grain and speck God assembled in my formation. She deserves too much that I never come up with anything I actually find worthy enough to hand to her. She is my tower of love, life and many other mysteries. Do something for someone special this year people; it is not all about him or her. Go the extra mile and put a shocking smile on someones face. You would be appreciated in the long-run.


Random fact:
~”I love you” in German is “Ich liebe dich”.
Ebony loves you all. Have a stress-free week.


  1. awww...how cute! I'm not good with ideas...but I really hope u figure something out that will def put a smile on her face!

    Like they say "The best things in life are free"...

  2. On vals day try being like a husband to her. You know do stuff ur dad wud hv done if he wz around. U cn start wit callin ha mata na

  3. Aww, this made me sad, but you can make it good for your mum. Buy her flowers, write her a poem, show her this post. Give her a hug, and keep the laughters coming.

  4. I almost cried reading this...sorry bout ur dad.
    I keep trying to imagine what I'll do if I lose my dad, who will love my mum or the otherway round.

  5. i do hope you feel better dear.im sorry bout your dad.

  6. Awww... this is so sweet... Just be there with her and remind her that you will always love her...sometimes..knowing that is enough

  7. Show her love and care.And let her know,u gonna always there for her.
    Hope u feel better.The lord is ur strength!

  8. Sorry about your dad. In my opinon *cough* take her sky diving!! Scratch that..take her to that place she's dreamt of visiting..just the two of you. :-)

  9. Maybe u might just devote urself to always being there for her in every way humanly possible. Search out new fun activities u can do. Go on vacation together. Just be there for her babes. I love this here mehn. Deep!

  10. awwww, bless her(your mom)... i pray u do put a smile on her face on val's day. i totally agree wit u, its not always him/her, its being able to reach out to sm1 out there who really needs love.
    remain blessed
    u touched me

  11. I'm sure in her heart, your mom knows you love her.
    Even the simplest things you do will bring her joy.

    I loved this post.

  12. This is what we do for my mum
    We wake her up to a fully prepared breakfast.
    For dinner, we take her out to a place we know she has not been yet (it takes us a while to do the research - but we love her). We make a big deal out of it, we get dressed and everything.
    Then we give her flowers, no roses - tulips or anything with interesting colors.
    Somewhere in the middle of all that we always give her a gift.
    I hope this helps to form an idea.

  13. aww..to be honest I never really thought what wen on in my mums head on vals day..even though I once gave her a card and you could tell she was soo happy. I would definitly go the extra mile this year..thanks for the inspiring post

  14. As someone who has lost a parent myself, I know it can be hard. My suggestion: (1) send your mother a package containing her favorite things..could be anything from kitchen appliance(s), cosmetics, a book - etc etc you know your mom well so it shouldn't be too hard to compile such a package (2) every woman likes to get dolled up. Make over Mum! Pedicure, Manicure and then go shopping for make up. And You put on the make up for her, in a young-fresh way that makes her feel less "Mummy-ish" and more youthful and vibrant (3) write her a poem, as if it were coming from your dad - reminisce about the good times they had together, express gratitude to her for being the great wife she was and mother that she is, etc etc... -my 2 cents!

  15. Im so sorry; I know its hard for all of you. Im really happy though that you have amazing parents. Anything you do, I think, that comes from the heart will definitely touch that of your mother.

  16. this made me tear! do something very special for your mom like take her out to eat and/or surprise her with flowers/candy...many women can only dream of a man like your dad! hv a wonderful valentines weekend!!

  17. I'm not sure I already said it here. I appreciate the comment you left on my blog.


Say it how it is!