In search of "happy".

Contentment I have often heard comes from the satisfaction you feel from the things you already possess and not from having all the things you want.

She dug deep into her closet,
She searched tirelessly for heaven knows what.
she wailed in frustration and was bitter.
Her heap of "still tagged" designer clothes still did not give her peace
Instead, she wanted more...she thrived on novelty- the feeling was euphoric.
She looked for her wallets, debit cards, credit cards and stray cash
Oh! She had to go and buy happiness

She bragged about being content to all who listened,
Eventhough she knew deep down inside she wasn't.
187 pairs of shoes, 243 bags and......still counting.
She believed that money could buy her happiness,
In her feeble understanding of life, she sought for "happy"-whatever that word even meant.

Her outside was exuding with wealth and riches
But her inside........was starved.
She believed she had everything
Yet she had nothing.

Random fact:
~male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth from 7 miles away. :D

Have a wickiiiddddd weekend loves.

Ebony.

Attitude of Gratitude.

I am thankful, for life in all its entirety.
I am thankful for what I know, even what I am yet to know.
I am thankful for the stormy days.
I especially am happy for the rainbows after every rain.
I am thankful for the conditional and seasonal people in my life. They taught me a lesson on strength and courage.
I am thankful for the 24-hour walls that have been more than friends.
I am happy that I have the ability to think and be creative.
I am privileged to grow up morally sound.
I am thankful that my life has no regrets, I take lessons out of every situation.
I am thankful that I know who I am.
I am thankful that I am my own person. No one defines me.
.....I am thankful that I have potentials to be whatever I choose to be. I am thankful for EVERYTHING. I am!!!

Random fact:
A prayer without thanksgiving is defective.

Ebony.

English 101: Professional lessons from the Amateur.

A noun according to the dictionary is a person, place animal or thing.

A noun is a person: She was someone I passed a lot of time with, shared my space and such. She was the kind of person to speak with the wisdom of an old woman, yet she did not know the intensity of the words she spoke.She is the person behind the 5-inch heels and Mac make-up. She is the person whose identity i shall not disclose.

A noun is a place: The place is the habitat of the man that sucked life out of her every time he thrust himself deep into her. She hated this place but she ran to it like it was a sanctuary of serenity. She would sneak out by telling tales of wanting to visit the sister she despised, all to heal her collage of brokeness, or so she thought.

A noun is an animal: An eagle is the animal I pray for her to shadow after in due time. She sees herself as a snail right now, like life is passing her by. She is blind to the fact that there is an eagle inside of her, if only she would search within. She constantly hides in her shell when she has the ability to fly.

A noun is a thing: This was the weed she smoked at corners of emptiness she squeezed herself into when she was 'hiding from reality.' It was the cocaine she injected herself with, pushing shots of bitterness into her system and wondering why sweetness and happiness knew her not. It was the bottle of alcohol she drank every morning like a ritual once she rolled over her bed in the mornings of new days.

She described the perfect noun but forgot the adjectives her life was missing, like beautiful, wealth of knowledge and the likes.

Everyday, a person dies inside due to one problem or the other. If you have no words or ways to lift their spirit, give them the smile you have on your face. It goes a long way.

Random fact:
~Women experience depression about twice as often as men.

Have a wonderful week.

Ebony.
Kisses...xxxxxx

Easter. Death. Life

.....They put the nails through His hands, and pierced His side please understand,
It WASN'T easy,
BUT it was worth it.

I think time has come for everyone to withdraw from the madness of this world and dedicate time to re-evaluate yourselves...you know?! soul-seeking and cleansing. Just a word from my heart to yours.People are dying too easily these days and we unconsciously question where they are ending up. There is no time anymore. Urgency people, live life with a purpose I beg you all. We fall down, yes, but please get up fast! I love you all HONESTLY and want the bestest for everyone. Look for yourself and find YOU. kisses!

Happy Easter. He died a painful death, so we may live!

Random fact:
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. (LOL)

Ebony!

Good Poison.

Like a thief in the night,you are stealing life from me.

You kiss me deeply with hurt, three days in a week.

When night is near, and I am about to go to bed, you whisper into my ear:
"I have not been serviced and I need some."

You forget I have feelings, bruising me passionately.

I see delight in your eyes, personalized into life.

I wonder if I made a mistake knowing you, help me believe!

Help me trust!

Give me hope!

Personality Psychology 301... I don't like you rough, take it easy and smooth! -And if you continue to try me, i will OSAMA you.

Random fact:
~Psychologists DO NOT read peoples minds. *FYI*

Ebony.

Apologies!!!! *Sad face*

So it's been exactly a month since I last blogged and that is totally unacceptable and I say a BIGGGG sorry. Life has gotten too much in my way that my blog spirit is dying slowly and slowly. :( I shut facebook down and I am hoping it is for good though so life will resume the way I planned. How are all of you doing? I will go back to blogging constantly hopefully with God's grace. This year has been full to the brim with alot of turns, up and down and whatever you will want to call it but I have learnt to Fly Above all the drama. Yup! Kandi told me to...please listen to her song on my player, that is my life in a song at the moment. So right now I am awake and not anticipating my morning as I have an 8:30am flight back to Tulsa....that place is a hell-hole honestly...Plus when I feel motivated and confident, i will jist you all about my year so far.... I said it right, as January 1, 2010 came and I was robbed, it signified a rough year and that is all life has served me so far but it is building me up. Met alot of people this year, the ones that add to me, the ones that subtract, the ones that confuse and the ones that make straight ways and the likes. I want to run away from reality but it just do not know how to if it is at all possible. I have cried a lot this year and crying is not really a part of me at all but I love it though because through it all, we live and we learn. :) Trading sadness for Joy Unspeakable. I really do not want to go back to Tulsa heaven knows. So Spring break was in Chicago with a friend of mine that I had not seen since high school and so we had ALOT of catching up to do. Fun times I tell you. I wish I could just stay here till life swears and promises to be gentle with me, like heck I'm not a fighter even though I did martial art in high school. LOL. Sorry this post just came as freestyle and it is not proof-read or anything but I feel a need to scream. From my roommate, to everyone around me in Tulsa I just feel not really exactly happy to go back to. Am I scared of something? I don't get it. Is there something inside that I am refusing to face? I need to do some serious soul searching, *puts on to-do list for the flight*. This year I have lost too many important people in my and it bothers me a lot though majority are not concerned but I realized I value people TOO MUCH that it becomes unhealthy, relationships, friendships and such I place too much weight in them so it smacks me HARD when anything happens. It's really crazy though but I have learnt the harder way. I love you all sha and oh yeah I LOVE my *Sweetness* SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. Yup! beautifULL sweetie, adopted big-sister by force lol and *Sugarplumrene* is another of my twin little sisters lmao. I love them so much though. So I guess I am out of my happy place and it is officially time to take off the 'pause' button from life and press 'play'.....Here we go again. I will make it, it is only natural I come out strong. I would blog more, I would blog more, I would blog more *repeating it to myself*.

Random fact:
~Stressed is desserts spelled backwards. (This surely has not felt like no desserts to me though.)

I Ruff yhew all....I Pinky Promise.LOL

Ebony.

Happy birthday to me!

So tomorrow being the 21st of February happens to be my birthday. For a very wicked reason this happens to be the day the devil sent sickness. Nothing do him sha! God pass him. I am down with a fever + a flu mehn and all I can do Is lay in bed and sneeze like a goat all day. It is well with me. Well I got flowers from mummy today so it brightened my day a bit. :) YUP! I thank God for all He has done for me. I am nothing without Him and to please Him is my work on earth. I will still go out and have a wonderful day tomorrow starting from tonight. Go to see a movie, eat out with friends and catch up on whatever. Wake up tomorrow and start with church, proceed to breakfast at First Watch, lunch at Lanna Thai and dinner at Cheesecake Factory. I must wear my heels and look stunning o. Nothing do me at all. Jesus FIRE devil. :) So happy birthday to me. I ask for Gods Will to be done in my life. He really listens. I asked Him for something and the next day, around 6am He answered me. Asin MY JESUS is just too much. Don't Jealous Us! :p

Have a wonderful day people and pray for me to be strongggggg by tomorrow.

Random fact:
Your heart beats at a rate of around of 72 to 80 beats per minute - since your last birthday it will have beat about 42,075,900 times.

A pic of my flowers :)



Ebony!